Monday, October 18, 2010

Rough one....

I can tell my depression is taking it's toll on my husband. Poor guy has to pick up my slack and my slack is horrible. Today the suicidal thoughts have been raging, but I wouldn't dare tell anyone in therapy, or they'll put me on a 5150 and hold me for days. I don't want to mention it to my husband because he has enough to worry about. I had a meltdown in the front yard today, enough that a neighbor came over to make sure I was doing ok. I'm not. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don't want to talk to anyone, do anything. Just sit here... or preferably sleep. Everything is so black. And I don't know how to change the color.

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