Tuesday, October 19, 2010
It's a good day
So today we did a mindful meditation in therapy and it actually did wonders. We had done this several times before, but this time it was different. It's basically being mindful of your breath, thoughts, and being. You focus on just one breath at a time. As your mind wonders, which it will, just bring it back to the breath. Well, as usual, my mind did start to wonder and this time we were to embrace the thought, examine it and not push it away. One suicidal thought that had been plaguing me for years popped into my head... Instead of letting it attack me and take over, I investigated it, looked at it, reversed it and suddenly it lost all it's power! I was shocked by the entire experience. So, today has been a good day. The first truly good day in months. My soul is tired, but not broken. I'm tired, but hopefully not broken. I promised my son I will get better and I will keep that promise.