Tuesday, October 19, 2010

It's a good day

So today we did a mindful meditation in therapy and it actually did wonders. We had done this several times before, but this time it was different. It's basically being mindful of your breath, thoughts, and being. You focus on just one breath at a time. As your mind wonders, which it will, just bring it back to the breath. Well, as usual, my mind did start to wonder and this time we were to embrace the thought, examine it and not push it away. One suicidal thought that had been plaguing me for years popped into my head... Instead of letting it attack me and take over, I investigated it, looked at it, reversed it and suddenly it lost all it's power! I was shocked by the entire experience. So, today has been a good day. The first truly good day in months. My soul is tired, but not broken. I'm tired, but hopefully not broken. I promised my son I will get better and I will keep that promise.


  1. I like the way you describe this "mindful therapy". I went to my psychiatrist yesterday for my follow up session. Started my meds back up about three weeks ago with already one increase in dose. I'm having a horrible time sleeping. My thoughts are invading my bed and the insomnia is painful. He told me to meditate. But he only said to focus on something meaningless. My thinking to that is if it has no meaning, what's the point? He said it should bore me to sleep. I like how you examined the intrusion. I'm going to try this. Thank you!

  2. Good! I'm glad. Let me know how it goes. It has really helped me out a lot and although it hasn't fixed me, it has definitely worked wonders. Just, as my therapist says, "Gently escort your mind back to just this breath. As your mind wanders, as it's designed to do, just congratulate yourself and gently escort your mind back to just this breath. If your mind wanders a thousand times, just bring it back a thousand times to just this breath." Good luck Mama! :)