I hate myself. I want to be a good mother, but I feel like I'm such a failure. People tell me I'm a great mother, but it doesn't matter. My thoughts are the loudest things I hear.
I know what I want out of life, but I can reach them? Right now I don't have any energy or effort to make them happen.
People say I need time for myself, but aren't those days gone now that I'm a mom? And what if the things I want in life are wrong? I don't trust myself at all. Never did. Well, I did maybe a long time ago, but not anymore.
My thoughts are all scattered. I'm anxious and I don't know why. I miss Gabe, but when I'm with him I get anxious. God, I hate this. I hate this person I've become. Completely scattered, without self assurance and lost.