So, this morning at 10 AM, my husband and I walk back into the hospital where I was kept for 4 days, in a sense against my will, in a sence completely willingly. We are to meet with a social worker to see if I a am good candidate for this program. They officially call it, "Back to work" or "Back to functioning living" program. Hmmmm...
So, long story short, after about an hour of a seemingly endless amount of questions, I was admitted! I am scheduled to start on Thursday. For the next 6-8 weeks of my life, my days will look like this:
9:45-10:30 AM - Symptom Management (now, I have no idea what many of these things are, but I know I'm attending them...)
10:30-10:45 - Break
10:45-11:30 - Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
11:30-11:45 - Break
11:45- 12:30 PM - Group Psychotherapy
12:30-1:45 - Lunch
1:15-2:00 - Practical Coping
That is the next 6-8 weeks of my life. Let's hope it works, because even today I had yet another intrusive thought of SIDS and fought with my precious husband, (well, not fought, but not agreed) about it. He said, Gabriel will be fine and I said, "How do you KNOW that? You DON'T KNOW!" That went on until he suggested I take another Kolopin and take a nap... which I did.
The torture in my mind is unbearable. I'm up, then I'm down. It's maddening, literally. I really need this program to help me, or I see my life slipping through my fingers.