Saturday, November 13, 2010

Getting better

Well finally! It' almost 1 in the morning and the whole family is asleep, yet I'm sitting up on here. I've always been a night owl. But, I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart that depression does lift! Anxiety does mellow. Sleep does come. I believe that through the proper medication, therapy and support, I see a light. I see that light that everyone so annoyingly talks about. I pray that all of you struggling with PPD/ PPA/ PPP etc will notice that shift. The shift that happens when you realize that you actually see the future and it's not only existent, but it's healthy, happy, joyful. I pray that the thought monkeys go to sleep. They may not die, but they will sleep for a long time. Your brain becomes your own again and depression doesn't own you. I pray that you are not a victim, but instead that depression is your victim. You won't be like a leaf blowing in every direction due to depression, but you are strong like that tree that grows the leaf.

Do I fear that it will come back, yes. Is it here now? No. That is all I need to know and I will live life in these moments and not in fear of the ones to come.

1 comment:

  1. Hi! I found your blog from the Babycenter PPD/PPA group. I read through your posts and want to tell you how strong you are to have gone through all this. I was diagnosed with PPD/PPA back in Feb when my son was 2 weeks old. I had all the same symptoms that you described. It is pure hell. I know I should have been hospitialized, but refused to go. I am somewhat better now..thanks to a antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I hope you continue to have a speedy recovery! Keep blogging...